cameclosest | TLV IC INBOX

[Varker is attempting to speak clearly, but there is a definite lisp as he trips over his own teeth.]

You've reached Dr. Varker. As a note, yes I do accept bribes in exchange for good behavior.

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From:

deuceoftears

"Maybe a little bit," Jedao says, with a wistful, playful smile. He comes over to hand Varker the little plate of cookies and sits down next to him, tossing one for Audrey.

"Mostly I just didn't want you to get all in your head about it and stop talking to me."

From:

cameclosest

Varker's sour expression doesnt shift, though if Jedao is paying enough attention, his hand grips the sofa back a little more tightly.

He isn't lying, but it isnt like he hated what he'd been doing. Just, god. Embarrassing. As well as just another memory of himself wearing different skin, taking simple joy out of things he can't quite appreciate himself.

Audrey catches her cookie with her tongue, munching above Varker's eyes happily as he grumpily takes the plate.

"I'm not him, though admittedly he was having a better time of it than I'm sure my own sixties will bring."

From:

deuceoftears

They're pretty good, warm and gooey, caramelized on bottoms, with tart raspberry jam balancing the sweet.

"I'm not that Jedao either," Jedao points out. "Although I will admit it was fun to meet him."

From:

cameclosest

He shifts attention to the cookies, not an offering of alcohol and thus ignored until the smell of them is right under his nose. He can taste them through Audrey and he can't say he isn't tempted.

Without any eye contact he says, "bastard enjoyed my body for longer than I got too and then I get thrown back to this. Spoiled rotten between that, his lavish lifestyle and a brilliant young mind bending him over."

From:

deuceoftears

"He was a bit spoiled, wasn't he?" Jedao agrees, his tone conspiratorial but fond. "But not rotten. Even though people that rich are, more often than not."

From:

cameclosest

Varker gives him a look that would be more obviously disapproving if he still had eyebrows, popping a cookie in his mouth.

"I am rich, you know. And while I might be a bitch I'm not rotten, thank you."

From:

deuceoftears

"Are you that rich? Buy-a-moon rich?" Jedao asks, surprised and dubious.

Admittedly his ideas of Earth class are warped at best.

From:

cameclosest

Varkee rolls his eyes, "no one is that rich. Unless you're being scammed. You know there was a con artist who 'sold' the Eiffel tower twice to some rich, gullible bastards?"

He grabs another cookie and sighs as Audrey chirps for it, offering it to her, "but I do own a rather nice Condo in Atherton." A millionaire is still well to do even when there are billionaires around.

From:

deuceoftears

"The guy who made me in a lab owned lots of moons. Some people are absolutely that rich," Jedao says dryly.

He casually knocks his shoulder gently against Varker's.

"The condo sounds nice, though. What's an Atheron?"

From:

cameclosest

"Yes, well thats just fucking silly. I'm being realistic, and no one owns a bunch of moons in twenty-nineteen." He waves a hand dismissively at the thought.

"Atherton is one of the richest suburbs in the United States and about twenty minutes out of San Francisco. Its nice, walkable and full of people who I don't want to talk to and who wouldnt stop to talk to me. Which is perfectly fine by me."

From:

deuceoftears

"That does sound nice. Being able to go and just...be. Anonymous." Since Varker didn't jerk away, Jedao leans a little against him.

From:

cameclosest

The contact he doesn't mind, though he eyes Jedao as he does it. It hadn't been bad when Oscar was touching him either until he'd started shedding his clothes and he felt the way his soft, human skin felt against his scales.

"Oh, people know who I am, but they're not about to bother me. Thats the nice thing about being there, we all have better things to do until we don't and thats when we decide we dont, not anyone else."

From:

deuceoftears

Jedao lets his head settle on Varker's shoulder, and sighs softly, wistful contentment; he certainly doesn't reach for anybody's clothes.

"You could still have a lavish lifestyle, you know. I'm sure Norton would love to facilitate that," Jedao points out.

From:

cameclosest

He's still a moment before his own head gently lists to the side, resting against Jedao's. Audrey might ruin it slightly by sniffing Jedao's hair, but she isn't entirely up in his business, minding her own for once. He keeps his hands to himself, folded stiffly in his lap with the plate, well aware that as much as he thinks he wants more physical closeness, it wouldn't be what he wants.

"That would involve telling him that his idea of fancy toiletries is mostly shit and I'm not sure listening to his squeaky bitching about how he does too have good taste would be worth it. He did suggest we get a personal chef though, and ive been considering it."

From:

deuceoftears

"Bother John, I bet he'd love to have more people to make things for," Jedao speculates. "I can give you nice toiletries, my bathroom came with an absurd amount of stuff. What kinds of stuff do you like?"

From:

cameclosest

"John single handedly prevented my hunger strike for a good few months, I know he would if I asked him too." But sometimes it's a kindness to let yourself free of the kindness of others for a little while. He'll circle back around, but not yet.

"You know you don't have to be nice to me just because you slept with my silver daddy other self, right? And in any case I'm not sure what I like any more. I couldn't even tell you for certain what sort of toner I should be using, or if sugar scrub would do anything for scales, if I should use a physical or chemical exfoliating on my face."

His weight settles more heavily against Jedao as he complains, though its less dramatically performative than it usually is.

From:

deuceoftears

"What, cause I was such a jerk to you before?"

Varker can't seem him rolling his eyes, but Jedao hopes it comes through in his voice.

"Well, you can try things. Are there scents you like, that don't bother Audrey?"

From:

cameclosest

"We were bitter enemies, don't you remember? I'll take a page out of Folgate's book and claim 'my arse was so bewitching you forgot and fell madly in love'." He's gotten better at his Norton impression, usually reserving it for mocking the man to his face, but it is fun to pull it out here and there.

"She and I are both particular, anything too strong is generally too much. I do like pepper, tobacco...nothing too floral. Citrus is alright."

From:

deuceoftears

Jedao giggles helplessly into his shoulder.

From:

cameclosest

"Oh good, you liked that one? Norton usually throws things at me so I never know if it's actually funny." He isn't preening, not at all.

From:

deuceoftears

"It was a very good impression," Jedao murmurs. Maybe not in exact cadence, but in spirit. And Jedao is very fond of bond of them.

"I'll bring you bath stuff to try," he promises, quietly. "I know it's...I know it's hard, trying to enjoy things in a body that's not right. But it's worth it, too."

From:

cameclosest

"I think so too, and yet I can never get the squeak right. He hates that." He might be chuckling to himself about it still, his hand absently settling on the other man's knee with a gentle squeeze.

It isn't until he's done it that he realizes maybe he shouldn't have, but it's harder to not fall into habits when he's still coming off a breach. In which case he's going to pretend like he didn't just casually touch him.

Instead he focuses on the quiet admission and he folds both his hands in his lap again, glancing at Jedao from the corner of his eye, "its a fucking nightmare, but... I am trying. It just screws with my head, the back and forth every few months. Like retraumatization and the weight of dysmorphia for days after I wake up."

From:

deuceoftears

Jedao doesn't react to the touch at his knee, either with rejection or forwardness, just stays where he's draped.

He swallows. "It did for me too, before I got my body fixed. It wasn't...not the kind of thing anybody else would notice. It was a human body, it just wasn't mine. It was exactly like that. Disorienting, and all - echoes. Like I was right back there, waking up for the first time, all wrong, all over again. For me, one of the worst parts was actually food. Because I could remember all over what it should be like, but then it all tasted wrong. That's part of why I got so into scented stuff, that was still the same. And...it did help, gradually, having things the body...recognized as nice. Anchoring, even."

From:

cameclosest

Varker swallows, feeling something drop in his stomach for the way he intimately understands what Jedao is saying. It feels less of a risk to unload his frustrations when he doesn't have to explain them or yell about it to have it be taken as seriously as he wants it to be.

"Nothing-" he clears his throat, staring at the ceiling a moment to gather himself before he tried again, "nothing tastes the same, or smells the same, or feels the same. I wish any of it did. My hearing hasn't changed, but... that doesn't ground me the same way. It's just sound."

From:

deuceoftears

Jedao catches his hand, and squeezes it gently, an ache and an acknowledgement that he doesn't think there are words for.

"Stuff doesn't taste...bad, though?" he asks, tentatively.