cameclosest | TLV IC INBOX

[Varker is attempting to speak clearly, but there is a definite lisp as he trips over his own teeth.]

You've reached Dr. Varker. As a note, yes I do accept bribes in exchange for good behavior.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

From:

cameclosest

He's still a moment before his own head gently lists to the side, resting against Jedao's. Audrey might ruin it slightly by sniffing Jedao's hair, but she isn't entirely up in his business, minding her own for once. He keeps his hands to himself, folded stiffly in his lap with the plate, well aware that as much as he thinks he wants more physical closeness, it wouldn't be what he wants.

"That would involve telling him that his idea of fancy toiletries is mostly shit and I'm not sure listening to his squeaky bitching about how he does too have good taste would be worth it. He did suggest we get a personal chef though, and ive been considering it."

From:

deuceoftears

"Bother John, I bet he'd love to have more people to make things for," Jedao speculates. "I can give you nice toiletries, my bathroom came with an absurd amount of stuff. What kinds of stuff do you like?"

From:

cameclosest

"John single handedly prevented my hunger strike for a good few months, I know he would if I asked him too." But sometimes it's a kindness to let yourself free of the kindness of others for a little while. He'll circle back around, but not yet.

"You know you don't have to be nice to me just because you slept with my silver daddy other self, right? And in any case I'm not sure what I like any more. I couldn't even tell you for certain what sort of toner I should be using, or if sugar scrub would do anything for scales, if I should use a physical or chemical exfoliating on my face."

His weight settles more heavily against Jedao as he complains, though its less dramatically performative than it usually is.

From:

deuceoftears

"What, cause I was such a jerk to you before?"

Varker can't seem him rolling his eyes, but Jedao hopes it comes through in his voice.

"Well, you can try things. Are there scents you like, that don't bother Audrey?"

From:

cameclosest

"We were bitter enemies, don't you remember? I'll take a page out of Folgate's book and claim 'my arse was so bewitching you forgot and fell madly in love'." He's gotten better at his Norton impression, usually reserving it for mocking the man to his face, but it is fun to pull it out here and there.

"She and I are both particular, anything too strong is generally too much. I do like pepper, tobacco...nothing too floral. Citrus is alright."

From:

deuceoftears

Jedao giggles helplessly into his shoulder.

From:

cameclosest

"Oh good, you liked that one? Norton usually throws things at me so I never know if it's actually funny." He isn't preening, not at all.

From:

deuceoftears

"It was a very good impression," Jedao murmurs. Maybe not in exact cadence, but in spirit. And Jedao is very fond of bond of them.

"I'll bring you bath stuff to try," he promises, quietly. "I know it's...I know it's hard, trying to enjoy things in a body that's not right. But it's worth it, too."

From:

cameclosest

"I think so too, and yet I can never get the squeak right. He hates that." He might be chuckling to himself about it still, his hand absently settling on the other man's knee with a gentle squeeze.

It isn't until he's done it that he realizes maybe he shouldn't have, but it's harder to not fall into habits when he's still coming off a breach. In which case he's going to pretend like he didn't just casually touch him.

Instead he focuses on the quiet admission and he folds both his hands in his lap again, glancing at Jedao from the corner of his eye, "its a fucking nightmare, but... I am trying. It just screws with my head, the back and forth every few months. Like retraumatization and the weight of dysmorphia for days after I wake up."

From:

deuceoftears

Jedao doesn't react to the touch at his knee, either with rejection or forwardness, just stays where he's draped.

He swallows. "It did for me too, before I got my body fixed. It wasn't...not the kind of thing anybody else would notice. It was a human body, it just wasn't mine. It was exactly like that. Disorienting, and all - echoes. Like I was right back there, waking up for the first time, all wrong, all over again. For me, one of the worst parts was actually food. Because I could remember all over what it should be like, but then it all tasted wrong. That's part of why I got so into scented stuff, that was still the same. And...it did help, gradually, having things the body...recognized as nice. Anchoring, even."

From:

cameclosest

Varker swallows, feeling something drop in his stomach for the way he intimately understands what Jedao is saying. It feels less of a risk to unload his frustrations when he doesn't have to explain them or yell about it to have it be taken as seriously as he wants it to be.

"Nothing-" he clears his throat, staring at the ceiling a moment to gather himself before he tried again, "nothing tastes the same, or smells the same, or feels the same. I wish any of it did. My hearing hasn't changed, but... that doesn't ground me the same way. It's just sound."

From:

deuceoftears

Jedao catches his hand, and squeezes it gently, an ache and an acknowledgement that he doesn't think there are words for.

"Stuff doesn't taste...bad, though?" he asks, tentatively.

From:

cameclosest

It's the skin on skin contact that gets the feeling of discomfort to flare. He knows what it should feel like, what it was supposed to after spending his time on a ridiculous space cruise liner touching those hands and his skin in far more intimate ways than just holding his hand.

It takes effort not to pull away, he knows what the gesture meant, doesn't want to reject it so he keeps still while it crawls under his skin. "N-no...just- red meat is harder ever since, well. You know." He used to take his steak more rare than medium and now if there's blood on the plate he cant even touch it.

From:

deuceoftears

Jedao catches some hint, though, that the discomfort is there; he pauses and lets go, then shifts around, although he doesn't seem to be getting up.

"Wait, no - just a second -"

He pulls a pair of sleek, dove-grey gloves out of his pants pocket.

"Fox and hound this is so dirty," he mutters to himself, and then offers them to Varker. "Try them on?"

They look immaculately clean.

Edited Date: 2026-02-04 06:48 am (UTC)

From:

cameclosest

He watches him with some concerns, missing eyebrows once again. He isnt sure why a pair of gloves would be dirty, they look clean, but-

"Why are you being weird about them?" He's suspicious, but wanting to oblige.

From:

deuceoftears

"Because it's extremely taboo in my culture, obviously, and also my kink, but try them anyway," Jedao huffs, pushing through the squirrelly stage of trying to lie or avoid the question in favor of just bulling through it with brazenness, even though his cheeks go red with it.

From:

cameclosest

The honesty pulls a surprised laugh out of him, snatching the gloves from him once he's sure there isnt some other weird thing that might happen if he puts them on.

"Oh don't even, you know I like the idea of an audience, I got over it, this is practically fair play. Though, I'm not forgetting you just carry these around in your pocket, Jedao." He teases as he slips them on both hands.

From:

deuceoftears

"They go with the uniform, they stay in the uniform pants!" Jedao protests. "Me having them isn't kinky, me giving them to someone else is -"

More. He makes a flustered garbled noise and hides his face in his hands for a few seconds, but also does peak through his fingers to watch Varker actually putting them on. The nanite metamaterial is sleek and cool, but warms quickly to skin temperature, smooth like silk but not quite as slippery. After a few more seconds, the fit adjusts itself to the shape of his hands, the fabric itself ultrathin. When Jedao rests light fingertips on the back of one glove, Varker can feel the pressure and even the warmth of his hand perfectly well, but the texture is just slightly not anything he ever felt before, not anything that can be jarring in comparison.

From:

cameclosest

Its captivating almost immediately, even if he does want to tease Jedao more, his interest is pulled in the way it so rarely is these days.

His breath catches in his throat before he swallows it down, turning that hand over and running his gloved fingers across Jedao's palm to the tips of his fingers.

"What are these made of?" And while there is that scientific curiosity in the forefront, he might also understand why someone would be interested for other reasons.

Edited Date: 2026-02-04 07:15 am (UTC)

From:

deuceoftears

"Spidermilk, most kelspec stuff is. Laced with nanites for self-cleaning and fit adjustment and whatnot."

His voice almost returns to nornal. To Jedao, the material is not terribly extraordinary; it's the elaborate etiquette around military gloves, which they are currently extravagantly violating, where the emotional charge is.

"But do they help?" That's the important part of this farce.

Edited Date: 2026-02-04 07:34 am (UTC)

From:

cameclosest

"That sounds disgusting on a surface level," and yet he's still distracted as he stares down at them.

Milking spiders makes him think of silk worms, a process he isnt unfamiliar with, but the nanites, thats much like being able to buy a moon, sci-fi fantasy bullshit. "I don't know... it's different, that's for sure."

From:

deuceoftears

The spidermilk is probably even more sci-fi than the nanites, pinnacle of production bioengineering and genesplicing that it is.

"Well, if you like them, I'll get you your own pair. But if you want to wear them for right now. That's okay."

He's still brick red, but he offers his hand. If Varker wants to hold someone's hand without the wrongness being triggered.

From:

cameclosest

The newness is distracting, but not as much as Jedao's red face, his lips quirking up as he takes the offered hand, rubbing his thumb against his skin.

It does feel better, less wrong for the fact that he's wearing gloves and still getting to touch, but its more fun when he can tease the hell out of him while he does it. "You mean I cant keep yours and embarrass the hell out of you in public when no one else would understand why?"

He sniffs, that quirk turning into a smile, "thats less fun, Jedao."

From:

deuceoftears

He moans a little when Varker rubs his hand; if Varker troubles himself to look down there's no hiding that Jedao is half-hard.

His pupils are blown wide, irises almost completely swallowed in black, but something flashes in his eyes at the question, and he grips Varker's hand back, suddenly tight. Not painful, but still a warning.

"You can't keep them because you're not my fucking husband," he growls, low in his throat. There's a limit to how much Varker can push him here.

From:

cameclosest

Varker is at his core a bit of a brat, seeing that resistance, the boundary and it makes him want to push. Whether he will or not is up to his self confidence and currently it's far below peaking. And yet that look in Jedao's eyes is just asking to play.

"I'm nobodies husband, certainly not yours." He says despite the chain around his neck sitting heavy against his collarbone.

"You could take them from me," he tests the grip, "but I won't make it easy."