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[cameclosest]

[Varker is attempting to speak clearly, but there is a definite lisp as he trips over his own teeth.]

You've reached Dr. Varker. As a note, yes I do accept bribes in exchange for good behavior.

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[cameclosest]

[Varker sets his jaw, delicately setting Lullabee down in the room as she makes her little air biscuits and shuts the door behind him.

He isn't wearing shoes, he isn't exactly dressed for the day, but you know what he is ready for?

Punching a man in the face for being a fucking dick to his cat. Or at least trying to punch him. It depends on how willing Vash is to let him grab onto his shirt and pull him into his swinging fist.]

[love_and_peace]

[ The door behind him closes, and Vash sighs with relief. That went much better than he'd expected! Sure, Varker had been a little rude -- and a little weird about the cat -- but after everything that's gone on between them he can deal with a little rudeness!

And then Varker's got a handful of his shirt, hauling him around with his fist raised. Vash has less than a second to make a decision -- does he shove Varker back? Hit him first? Duck? -- before realizing the fastest way to end this fight. He clamps his teeth together and lets the punch land, rocking his head to the side with the blow to reduce the impact.

It still splits his lip. It still hurts. ]

What the hell was that for?!

[cameclosest]

[Varker hisses as he pulls his hand back, shaking it out. Its clear from his swing he isn't used to physically fighting, but that is his baby girl, okay?

He swings his non-dominant hand in the direction of his cabin door where Lullabee is none the wiser.]

It was for Lullabee!

She did nothing to you, and what? Because I'm an asshole, she also deserves to be disrespected?

I'm saying no, that's bullshit.

[love_and_peace]

[ There's a grim kind of satisfaction in knowing that Varker hurt his hand on Vash's face. He dabs the back of his hand against his lip, wincing at the ache there. It's not badly split, just enough for a bright flash of blood and the promise of throbbing every time he tries to eat for the next day or so.

And all because he didn't pet the cat?! ]

I told her she was pretty! You can't go around punching people because they don't want to pet a strange cat! What if I was allergic?!

[cameclosest]

Yeah? Well it sure as hell didn't sound very convincing to me.

[It might be telling how much of his mental health is supported by said cat when Vash says 'strange cat' and Varker's response is more shaking and struggling to hold back tears.

If his hand didnt hurt so much he'd be clenching it.]

Did you say you were allergic? You seemed perfectly fine baby talking the monster but a cat is too much? The fuck is wrong with you?

She's perfect, and she deserves to be loved. She's- She's not done anything wrong.

[love_and_peace]

[ That's enough to make Vash actually take a step back, drawing into himself in surprise. It this really just about the cat, and Vash's refusal to touch it? Varker doesn't seem any more drunk than usual, his words are clear (if crazed), and there hasn't been any sign that anyone else is acting erratically, so... what the hell?

What the actual hell? ]

Audrey's not a monster.

[ He keeps his voice low, gentle, soothing... or if not 'soothing' then at least possibly calming? Possibly? ]

And... and she's got you to love her. She doesn't need me.

[cameclosest]

Yes she is. [He's not arguing that with him, she was something, and became something else. Just because she's a monster doesn't make her evil.

If he could just stop breathing so heavily as he blinks at the moisture in his eyes, annoying as it is, he'll try and close the gap between them again, his one arm cradled to his chest while the other points up at Vash's face.]

It isn't enough.

You think I'd want you putting your grubby little hands on my cat if I didn't think it was important? She needs more than me. I'm not- I'm not going to disappoint her more...

[love_and_peace]

[ Vash holds very still as Varker approaches, teeth together and fully expecting another punch. There's something really wrong going on here that he's stumbled into, and he knows that the smart thing to do would be to turn around and way away. Varker uses Vash to hurt himself -- he said as much, the last time they talked -- and so every second that he's here is just making things worse.

But how can he turn his back on somebody in so much distress? ]

Are you kidding? That cat loves you!

[ Is this helping? Is he just making things worse? This close, Audrey is right at Vash's eye level, and it's taking a lot of concentration to look at Varker and not her.

What was that he'd said on the network post? Vash had only been freshly resurrected at the time and had admittedly skimmed over a lot of the details, but he'd gotten Audrey's name, and there'd been something else too, hadn't there? Hadn't he said something about her never having been human?

Is this residual feelings from the breach? ]

You're not a disappointment.

[cameclosest]

[Audrey is having some trouble sorting through Varker's feelings. Its the weight of grief that really confounds her, even if she is feeling much better physically these days, Varker isnt. But she's supposed to be fine with that.

She makes some uncomfortable noises, whining while Varker does his thing, adamant that this is absolutely sane behavior and he isn't having a problem.]

She loves everyone, she's practically an angel, but you, you just have to do exactly the opposite of what I say, don't you?

It doesn't matter what the reason is, o-or if it hurts, you just fucking do it anyways.

And it's all my fault.

[love_and_peace]

[ This isn't about the cat. Okay. ]

Hey, no, it's not like that! I'm terrible with cats!

[ Could Varker maybe back up a little though, please? Just enough so that Vash isn't having to look past Audrey to see him? He's trying not to stare, he really is! ]

I'm so clumsy, you know that! I'd... I'd pull her fur, or pet her the wrong way, and doesn't she deserve better than my mangling mess?

[cameclosest]

[Oh, it's still about the cat, Vash. He's just very good at avoiding the root of his problems.

And blaming himself for the outcomes of them too.

Varker does back up, taking a few seconds to press his good hand against his eyes, breathe before he looks up at Vash again with wet eyes.]

So if I asked you again, and showed you how, you'd do it? So she doesn't think she did something wrong?

[love_and_peace]

Of course!

[ There's no universe where he'd say no to a wet-eyed sloppy request like that, come on. Worst case scenario he ends up with some scratches and Varker's mad at him again. He can live with that. Anything, if he can take that look off Varker's face. ]

I really didn't mean to be rude. I'm sorry! Will you introduce us again?

[cameclosest]

Well you were, and she didn't deserve it...

[Not when she sometimes sits at the door and cries for her papa to come home.

He gives Vash a look as if warning him this is his last chance before going back to his cabin door. He sniffs and wipes his face once more before opening it, crouching to call Lullabee over again. She seems entirely uncovered but her happy little self as she trots back over.]

There we are precious, he's going to say hello, he didn't mean to ignore you, I promise.

[And up he goes, cradling her in his arms to present her to Vash.]

Really, you can't do it wrong, she doesn't have any no spots.

[love_and_peace]

[ He's going to hear Varker's voice saying she doesn't have any no spots in his nightmares for the next month, so thanks so much for that.

He remembers reading somewhere that wild animals don't respond well to bared teeth so he keeps his smile closed-mouthed, raising his flesh hand like he expects it's about to be bitten off. ]

She really is very pretty.

[ See, Varker? He listened! He's trying! He's...

...he's patting the cat on her head. Patting. At least he's being gentle about it? ]

Nice kitty.

[cameclosest]

[Varker seems to have calmed some now that Lullabee is in his arms. He finds Vash's petting technique lacking but he blames it on the fact that he's an idiot.

Lullabee lifts her head into the touch, headbutt his hand and tilting to get more as she purrs. Her diamond collar glints in the hall lighting, and if Vash gives her the chance, she'll give his hand some kisses.]

See? You're terrible at this and she still likes it.

[love_and_peace]

[ The cat wants to lick him? Oh that's so gross, okay. Vash's smile is getting more and more glazed all the time but he's sticking with it, patting that soft little head as ordered.

See the things he's willing to do in order to make peace, Varker? ]

Well! I think that's sufficient apology, don't you?

[cameclosest]

[Varker is surrounded by things that want to lick, it is a cruel fate. But, he'll take a step back into his cabin, holding Lullaber securely.]

Mm...

[He sniffs, pressing his lips together tightly before looking up at Vash.]

It is... I- [He breaks eye contact and pets Lullabee, trying to push himself forward.]

I'm sorry for hitting you.

[love_and_peace]

[ Vash's eyes go wide, struck dumb by the wonder of that apology. ]

Please! It's already forgotten.

[ He almost never makes use of the magical healers on the ship for his various bumps and bruises, but for this he'll make a special visit. That split in his lip will be gone the next time he sees Varker, no matter when that might be. ]

For my part, I'm truly sorry for the insult of my behavior toward your feline friend here. I really do regret it, and I assure you it will not be repeated!

[ He wants to ask what's really going on, but he knows better. Best they leave things on a positive note, surely! ]

[cameclosest]

It shouldn't be, but thank you. Rosita didn't let me get away with it and neither should you.

[He hadnt been stupid enough to attack her at that point, when he'd been over the flood, but it had bothered him far more than it should have.

He sets Lullabee down, leaning forward and grabbing his handkerchief off the floor before giving a stiff nod, hitching his thumb of his uninjured hand over his shoulder.]

I'm going to get back to it, but I'm sure we are going to butt heads again. Thanks for this, I was half wondering if I wasnt going to get this back.

[He releases Vash from the awkward, turning and shutting the door behind him.]